Woke up this morning,
waved around my eyestalks —
couldn’t believe my
I felt ugly and slimy.
Never a hangover this bad before!
I oozed to the mirror–
fainted dead away.
I was a slug.

On the bright side,
forget shaving and phoning —
couldn’t call my boss.
Lie in bed all day,
happy in my slime.

But I miss my legs and arms.
Wish I were a cockroach.
Too hard to open
the back door to the garden
and my big patch of cabbage.
I’d looked forward to that